Omg I’m turning into my mother!
No it’s not what you may be thinking. So many say that as if it’s a terrible thing. In my case it was a funny moment. Over the weekend I was having a terrible time getting up. From the couch, bed, you name it. My legs have become so weak over the last few weeks. On a number of occasions I have needed help getting up.
Any way……I was trying to get up. In doing that I scoot myself up to the edge of my seat. Mind you that in itself isn’t easy. Usually takes a couple scoots to get close enough to the edge. I then turn my legs to the side. Which ever side the arm is on because I have to use it to push up on. All this while making sure I have my legs turned just right so that I can push up on the arm and have my right leg steady as possible and taking the blunt of my weight. If I were to go for lift off on my left leg I would surely fall. As I was doing this an image of my mom popped in my head. Jeez you get up just like mom! Lol. I laughed to myself and said I’m turning into my mother!
This is not a bad thing at all. My mom has struggled with her left side all of her life. She adapted and found ways to do most everything anyone else can! I remember when I started school kids started asking me. What’s wrong with your mom? A particular time always comes to mind. I had a friend over and my mom made us sandwiches. The little girl said to me why does your mom put a dent in the bread? What is wrong with her hand? I was confused. What is she talking about? There is nothing wrong with my mom. I don’t remember saying anything. My mom just explained to the girl like she always did. She explained that it is hard for her to hold on to the bread because of her hand so she presses into the bread. I think I was confused most of the afternoon about that. I thought sandwiches were supposed to look like that! I’m sure I was aware that my mom was different. Her hand was different from mine, different from the rest of my family, or any friends. I knew she had a hard time walking and doing certain things. I knew because of that she found ways that worked for her. Maybe it was different from how most did it but it was perfectly normal to me.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with my mom. She was mom! I didn’t know any different. She did everything other moms did. She cooked, cleaned, drove. She loved us and made sure we were taken care of.
Growing up I watched my mom do all of these things in spite of. I watched how she had found ways to do what she needed to. Like getting up or getting out of the tub. She didn’t complain. I don’t think I ever heard her say she wished it was different. Except maybe how kids and others treated her.
She was always an inspiration to me. The strength, courage, and determination she has is something I have always drawn on. Little did I know a time in my life would come that I would need to draw on all of that as much as I do right now. She is a reason to keep pushing.
So I will take turning into my mother with a smile on my face!
You will continue to be my strength through life. I know in time the pain of losing you will ease and the memories will last a lifetime. Love and miss you more than words can say. 7/31/20